I looked at myself in the mirror for the zillionth time. Anxious. More so, nervous. It wasn’t my first time here. I’ve been used to having many strange faces stare at me, all at the same time. And blurring them all in an instant is a talent I possess. I checked the timepiece on the dressing table – 7.30 PM. The chief guest will be done soon, I supposed. My palms started sweating and I knew that my make up was wearing off too. I hurried back to the green room to do the final touch up.
The chief guest uttered the last few lines from his well-scripted speech. It was time! Loud cheers from the audience for the 40 minutes speech was more a sign of tolerance than appreciation. “Argh! What are you thinking about?”, I screamed sensing the creases on my forehead. “It doesn’t matter now. Nothing matters now. All that matters is you going up on that stage and doing a good job.”, I re-iterated. A conversation with oneself every now and then does not signify that one is insane. It rather helps one to stay sane.
I turned to walk out to the backstage to find Arnab, my partner. Too late. He was already here looking for me. From his expression, something wasn’t right. Was I late? Maybe a little too tensed. We stared at each other for a full 60 seconds and then he said, “You look beautiful.” I let out a chuckle. Of all the people I knew, Arnab wasn’t the kind to give away compliments that easily. But some compliments do come your way when you least expect it. The emcee announced our performance. We were definitely late now. I grabbed my partner’s hand, muttered a thank you and sprinted out towards the stage.
He paused right before the entrance and let go of my hand. Confused, I turned back to face him questioningly. He gave me a quick hug, looked into my eyes and said, “This is your day. Live it!” I could’ve easily cried for this was going to be the best day of my life. I knew it and I surely wanted to live every single second of this day. I fought back the tears and managed a nod.
It was dark. We made our entry from either side of the stage. When the song began, the crowd cheered so loudly that it deafened my ears. And as we stepped into the light, the cheering raised a few more decibels. My heart went aflutter. Ecstatic, I made slow movements to the beat reaching for my partner. He was already there hands stretched out with a serene smile on his face. I clasped his hand and he held me up like a trophy to face the audience. I bent one leg up and pointed the other’s toes towards the ground as I smiled at the blurred faces and turned to do a pirouette. This is where I got nervous to the point of breaking down. Unfortunately, my previous attempts to do a pirouette failed miserably but my instructor was absolutely confident about me to put that into the sequence. Luckily, there was just one. Arnab seemed mildly surprised as I managed to do the perfect one and took a quick small step to reach for the close hand. If only I wasn’t on stage, I would’ve jumped with joy. We did a simple dip leading to a double turn and then a triple… and then a quadruple turn. *applause* He then cuddled me with a power grip to do the “death drop” dip. The crowd broke into the loudest applause this time. A few more turns, mambos and cross body leads and all I could hear was the striking of the palms of many hands.
Dance is a primal thing in me and I shudder to think of a life without it. It is an emotion, a feeling of liberation and an obsession for people like me. It is the most appropriate means to express my feelings and when I am dancing, I am myself. :)
As quoted by Constanze –
“Dancing is like dreaming with your feet”
Little did I know that that night would change the rest of my life. There was a new way I perceived happiness. Nothing could’ve made it better. I smile at those days and think why. Perhaps, it is a question that is meant to be unanswered.
And what about the people? Haha. Little miss twinkle toes, they call me now. :)
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